Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: The worst thing to happen to Scientology since L. Ron Hubbard

It must be true. I read it in The New York Times, on TimesSelect even:

"... The bridegroom might hear the Scientology minister proffer this advice, part of what the church refers to as the traditional ceremony: ''Now, Tom, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice if you will, but still they need them.''

And Ms. Holmes could be told: ''Hear well, sweet Katie, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him then that you may have necessities and follies, too.''

A cat? A cat! But, what if I don't want a cat? What if I like puppies? I do like puppies. But, clothes are something I can compromise on. And pans, because I like to cook.

Also, note that Tom and Katie should have no problems making it onto the Times' nuptials page. Check out the eyebrows. It continues to be an outrage. I wonder if they'll do a Vows video for the Times. But there's probably nothing about that in Hubbard's ceremony. The Internet was sort of after his time, no?