Of hats and exclamation points

It's an outrage that I'm not outraged enough. This calls for an exclamation point.

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For more than a moment the other day, the top story on Google News was this little diddy from The New York Times: "Bush And Queen Celebrate Common Values." Well, thank goodness. I thought the world was going to hell in a hand basket.

The Queen. It was truly good film making, and now it's bad reality television. The worst kind of reality television because there isn't even an objective or the promise of millions of dollars. There's just a stodgy old woman, who may have some political sway in her kingdom, but who essentially does nothing now but wear big hats and coordinated suit dresses. It's a good thing the Kentucky Derby was scheduled during her trip, or she would've looked like she was on her way to a costume party for the entirety of her American holiday.

Every shot of her at every stop on her American tour has made it quite clear why there was a revolution. She can't even laugh at the always-expected slip of George W. Bush's tongue, who almost accidentally incorrectly dated her last visit to the country her nation fought so hard to keep by 200 years. Americans lust after Queen Elizabeth because she is seemingly perfect — there is not much she can do wrong. There is simply a tiara, sparkly pomp and circumstance, and apparently, shared values.

Those shared values include the laziness of media companies everywhere, who follow Queen Elizabeth's every footstep and lend 10 minutes to her on the nightly news, but just 10 seconds to the 45 people killed in the latest Iraqi car-bombing.

It's nice to have nice news. But when our values mean that we celebrate to death one woman's mere existence for reasons that no one can really explain, and ignore the untimely, unjust and violent deaths of countless others, it's an outrage.