And the tapes just keep on coming

I wanted to show you a pretty picture I cropped to soften the blow of what you're about to read.

There is a sex tape. It is four hours long. And K-Fed might use it to extort money from his soon-to-be thin ex-wife. And he'll take the kids with the sex tape, because he's a very good father.

It's too much of an outrage to contemplate, and yet too good to be true for millions of humans of the male heterosexual persuasion. Screenwriters sitting around a table full of donuts could have come up with this script in, oh, about five minutes give or take the time spent guzzling Starbucks.

Please, just make the outrage stop.