Yes, I would like some cheese and a hammer

Allow me to whine.

I worked until 3:30 a.m. Wednesday morning. I arrived home around 4 a.m., and didn't fall asleep until past 5 a.m., at which point I had been awake for more than 22 hours. At 11 a.m., I was awoken by men, in my alley, prying furniture apart with hammers and throwing the remnants into a Dumpster with all of their might. Enraged, I lept out of bed and marched downstairs to give their boss a piece of my mind.

"Sometimes they get carried away," he said. Carried away? With a hammer? I can't imagine. By the time I got back upstairs, the hammering men were long gone, but I was awake and wanted a hammer of my own to get carried away with. Eventually, in my delirium I decided to try to turn my car on since I hadn't done so in a good three weeks. Then I decided to drive it around. It's a 1989 Nissan 240SX, and its retractable lights became stuck up a few weeks ago, so it now looks like some sort of cartoon car that's winking at you.

With no direction in mind, I ended up at Trader Joe's. As soon as I turned the car off, I knew I was screwed. It wouldn't turn back on. It wouldn't even try to turn back on. Luckily, I know and love AAA. In the meantime, I was at Trader Joe's, wandering around in the delirium. I bought five pounds of onions, chicken broth, peanut butter and a cajun shrimp roll. I made two passes by the macaroni and cheese sample stand. The AAA guy came, shifted the winking 240SX into neutral and turned it on. Voila. I drove home, carried my 15 pounds of broth and onions upstairs and collapsed.

Thursday at 8 a.m. I had jury duty. But that's another outrage for another day.