It's a sign

I'm not certain that I want to go to law school, and the Law School Admission Council isn't making it easier for me to decide. Is it a sign? I dated someone who said he didn't believe in signs. I should have known that was a sign he was going to stomp all over my pretty heart.

First, I tried to sign up for the Law School Admission Test two months before it will be given in September and one month before the sign-up deadline. No available seats within 100 miles of the District of effing Columbia. This is me giving the finger to all those excessively early overachievers. Jesus effing Christ. Hrmpphhh. Arghhhhh. God dammit all to hell.

Fine, fine, fine. Whatever.

I decided to suck it up and sign up for the December test. But you can't just fill out a form and click the button that says "Yes, I will gladly pay you $118 to play your stupid logic games." That would be very un-law schoollike. First, you have to download a program. It is called "Citrix ICA Client." I don't know what the crap it does or why it's so important, but I downloaded it, and I filled out all the forms. I told them to send me information about people who would like to loan me about $150,000, I told them I was born in Joliet, Ill. where there was once a very large jail, I told them I majored in journalism even though that might have made Citrix laugh. I got to the part where they asked for my credit card number so they could gladly charge me $118 to play their stupid logic games.

Then I went to the bathroom. When I came back, Citrix was gone. Citrix has never returned. I went back into Citrix to try to find the application again. I went back to the Web site to try to find it in there. I tried to download Citrix again. And again. And again on a different computer. There is something wrong with the Stuffit Expander. And by the way, which is it? Does it stuff or expand? Stuffit Expander told me to download a new version of Stuffit Expander. What? Is it serious? Now it's just mocking me.

It's a sign. And it's an outrage.